Why my boyfriend never takes me out?

My boyfriend never takes me out anymore, and we used to go out every night when we were dating… We’ve heard so many women say these words, but why does this happen in relationships?

You and your boyfriend used to go out all the time, but now he’d rather spend his time doing something else.

Maybe instead he never wanted to go out with you in the first place, and you only see each other between four walls of his or your place.

Is he hiding something from you, or is simply too tired to go out after a long day at work? Let’s find out!

girl dining alone

Here are some possible reasons why he is not taking you out that can help you figure out where you stand with him.

1. You don’t share the same interests

Maybe there are things that your boyfriend would love to do, but they’re not the same as the ones you’re interested in.

While you would like to go watch a play, he would prefer to watch the game. Regardless of what your interests are, if they are too different, you’ll have trouble finding the right solution to what to do.

Maybe his hobbies include tennis, while your favorite hobby is pottery. If you don’t make a compromise or become interested in each other’s hobbies you’re not going to have much to do.

Perhaps you don’t listen to the same music, so you don’t like to visit the same bars. If you are too different, you might want to consider how much in common you have to begin with.

2. He prefers spending time with his friends

One of the reasons your boyfriend never takes you out might be simply because he prefers going out with his friends.

This can indicate a big problem because, while you should both have a life outside of the relationship, his friends shouldn’t be more important to him than you are. If he never makes you a priority you might want to reconsider a relationship with him.

For instance, maybe he’s playing poker with the guys while you had a romantic dinner and a movie planned, but he canceled at the last minute.

These things shouldn’t happen in a healthy relationship, so if he always chooses his friends over you he might not be that interested in you.

3. He is hiding something from you

Your boyfriend might be hiding something from you, whether it’s an affair or that he no longer feels the same way about you.

On the other hand, he might be hiding you from someone else. If he never takes you out and avoids getting seen with you in public, he might be already involved with someone else. You should definitely stay away from men who avoid seeing you in public.

What does he have to hide? Maybe it’s not an another woman, but he is hiding something or doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship with you.

Otherwise, he would gladly make his feelings for you known to the entire world and brag about having you as a girlfriend.

If instead you always see each other at his place or your place and even his friends don’t know that you’re together, that’s a major red flag and a sign that you should run for the hills.

4. He needs some alone time

On the flip side, maybe your boyfriend used to take you out but has recently stopped. What has changed?

Well, maybe he just needs some alone time or has a problem that he needs to deal with alone. He might be stressed out because of work, he might have family problems, or he simply needs to take a step back from the relationship.

This doesn’t mean that he’s thinking about breaking up with you, but people sometimes need to get some distance to clear their heads.

You have no other choice but to give him the time he needs, but don’t wait for him forever.

Maybe he has gotten too comfortable in the relationship and doesn’t think that he needs to invest the same amount of effort as when you were dating.

Remind him that that’s not the case and that if he has some problems he should talk about them with you.

5. He is tired from work

Sometimes, the most obvious, the simplest reason is the right one. Perhaps he’s been working long hours and has no energy left to take you out.

Maybe he just wants to relax at home, watch TV and play video games. If it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other and you miss him, why don’t you join him?

You could suggest cuddling instead of clubbing. A night of binge-watching your favorite TV show might be just what your relationship needs to get back on track.

Your boyfriend might be feeling like he’s outgrown the whole nightlife scene, but he wouldn’t mind holding you in his arms throughout the night instead of dancing and drinking.

That actually doesn’t sound so bad, doesn’t it?

What can you do if your partner doesn’t take you out?

Now that you know why your boyfriend never takes out, what can you do about it?

Well, depending on the reason you might find a simple solution right away. Try some of these approaches:

1. Let him know how you feel

If you are unhappy in a relationship you should definitely let your boyfriend know about it.

Even if the only problem is that you like going out while he prefers staying in, you should talk about it if it bothers you.

Maybe he is more introverted and just wants to spend every weekend at home watching TV. Are you fine with that though?

Some people never change, and it’s up to you to decide if you want a relationship like this.

You can’t force him to go out if he doesn’t feel like it, so you’ll have to accept spending your weekends and his place or find someone more outgoing like you are if being an indoors type is a dealbreaker for you.

2. Become interested in his hobbies

Maybe your boyfriend is outgoing, you just don’t like going to places that he frequently visits.

Think about his interests and hobbies and see if there is something that you could try doing with him. He should do the same with your interests and hobbies.

You’ll probably find that there are many things that you can do together, and once you do, you’ll feel like you’re going out much more often.

If you didn’t even give his hobbies a chance, try them with him, and you might end up enjoying your newfound common interest.

The two of you could even find some new hobbies that you can do together that neither of you has tried before!

This could only bring you closer together and help you spend more quality time together.

3. Go out by yourself

In the end, what’s stopping you from hitting the town on your own or with your friends? If he is persistent in refusing to go with you, go without him.

If he’s not fine with you going out without him, simply remind him that he’s welcome to join you.

Maybe you’re a fan of the nightlife while he isn’t, and you’re ready to settle for a movie marathon, but you shouldn’t make that kind of sacrifice for him if going out means so much to you.

Go out, have fun, take pictures, and he might even realize what he’s missing out on and ask to join you the next time.

Even if he still doesn’t want to take you out, he’ll have to accept that you’ll go out without him, and his jealousy probably won’t let him do that for a long time.

4. Take the initiative and take him out

If he doesn’t take you out, why don’t you try taking him out instead? Don’t wait for an invitation and simply tell him that you’d like to go out with him.

Taking initiative might be all it takes to fix your problem, and your boyfriend might be perfectly fine with going out, it just didn’t cross his mind to ask you.

If he repeatedly refuses to let you take him out, there might be a more serious problem that he’s not telling you about.

Ask him to give you an explanation and proceed from there.

All in all, you should go out if you want to go out. If your boyfriend doesn’t feel like joining you every now and then, there’s nothing wrong with that. You can go out without him or stay with him and watch TV.

On the other hand, if he never takes you out, and refuses to go with you when you take initiative, he might be hiding you from someone, so you have every right to suspect that he’s seeing someone else.

Hopefully, that is not the case, and you will talk this out and find a solution that suits you both.